Let's Talk Over Coffee: I Wanna Go Home

JuLiE

I love long conversations with my dad. We'd talk about anything and everything until the wee hours of the morning. It is usually over food, because obviously, I love eating and he, on the other hand loves cooking. He never runs out of things to say or stories to tell. He IS very talkative!

Conversations with my dad are very enriching. It may be in the form of new knowledge or information. He knows the answer to almost anything. Seriously. Or it may be the comfort words I want to hear when I'm down. It may be a drop (or sometimes loads!) of wisdom when I am lost or is clueless on know how to handle situations. Or it may be in the form of reminders or caution when I'm not doing the right thing. In any way, conversations with him are never a waste of time. He has a very good, sarcastic sense of humor, so there are times when we'd just laugh our hearts out. He is a food for my brain and my soul.

One afternoon, we were talking about my grandmother who already passed away around 8 years ago. He was telling me about how kind-hearted and generous she was although not everybody saw that in her. Then he started tearing and said that he misses her. The tears turned into sobs and before I knew it, he was already weeping. He was weeping because he misses his mother so much. I just sat there and did absolutely nothing. I didn't know what to say or what to do to make him feel better. I felt his grief and I'd do anything to share it. To make it less painful for him. But I can't. I don't know how. It has always been him who comforts us, who knows all the right things to say in any given situation.

I am scared. I don't want that to ever happen to me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to live through it. Worse is, I don't want to later on regret that I haven't spent as much time with him as I can. Now. Now that he's still here.

I wanna go home.