20 Random Fatcs
JuLiE
Was tagged by Tin (2 months ago?)...

1. I love my daddy egg and my baby egg ;)

2. My butchokoy's smile can remedy my bad mood =)

3. I love bread and butter, chocolates and cakes, pasta and pizza.

4. I eat slooooooooowwwwwwww.... As in!

5. Still, I love food.. and food trips!

6. Unlike Tin, I will go out of my way for bargains, sales, and ukay-ukays! The brand doesn't really matter for me. But getting a good brand is a bonus! =)

7. May work na ko! Yahoo!!! =)

8. My husband taught me how to cook... now I'm better than him! Hahaha! Joke lang, pantay lang kame =)

9. I miss gin with anything. And basically college (and post-college) life.

10. I hate domestic cats. I'm fascinated with tigers and baby lions though. I'm thinking of having one for a pet. Nah, just joking..

11. I'm the most untalented person I know. See, I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't act, I can't play sports.. Buti na lang maganda ako.

12. Most people think I'm a snob.

13. I'm sincere and a good listener.

14. I wanna take up a master's degree in finance. Pero hindi pa ngayon..

15. I wanna have a Europe tour! Pero hindi pa rin ngayon.. But I can settle for somewhere nearer, like Thailand or Malaysia or Indonesia..

16. I am fascinated with the unique and very diverse culture of India. Come to think of it, gusto ko rin pumunta dun! Pero mukhang magtatalo kami ni Onac. Hindi ko na sasabihin kung bakit, baka makulong at mapalo pa ako dito sa Singapore, hehehe =p

17. I hate it when the bed sheets are pulled off. E pagkalikot-likot pa naman matulog ng mag-ama ko!

18. Takot ako s apoy at sa kuryente. It takes me several minutes to light a posporo or a lighter dahil nauunahan ako ng kaba. Plugging or unplugging appliances also makes me nervous.

19. I hate Mondays.

20. I have a bad temper. I'm trying to get rid of it. Still not successful =(
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First dose of motherhood
JuLiE
My baby was born with an infection. The doctors speculated that he got it from my recurrent UTI during my pregnancy or dahil nakatae siya when I was delivering him (doctors tend to give multiple choice answers). So, nadextrose siya and was asked to stay for several more days.

When I first held my baby when he was still in the nursery, I felt an overwhelming joy but I could not contain my sadness either. He looked so pitiful in a dextrose. If only there's something I can do to take away his pain and infection I would have taken it all. Let me suffer instead.

I now understand why my dad almost cried when he saw my bluish-black flesh from my sorority initiation. Or why ,instead of getting mad, he couldn't stop thinking about what my sister would eat or where she would get her money for tuition after she abandoned her family for her current relationship. Or why he lies awake all night worrying about the future of my brother, who doesn't have the drive to do well in his studies. And now here I am crying over nothing yet. I wanted to take the pain my baby probably didn't even feel yet (his senses were not yet fully developed).

I think I now understand. And I don't think it would be easy. I just pray that I would have enough strength to become a mother.
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July 14, 2005
JuLiE
10:30 a.m. Kagigising ko lang. Pasok sa banyo. Gusto ko nang tumae. Bad trip. kapiranggot lang ang tinae ko.

11:00 a.m. Sumasakit na naman tyan ko. Pasok uli sa banyo. Success! Nakaraos din.

11:10 a.m. Kumuha ako ng almusal ko. Kailangan kumain nang sapat para kay baby. Teka lang, ba't parang 'di na nawala sakit ng tyan ko? Sige, kain lang ulit.

11:30 a.m. Grabe na ito, masakit pa rin ang tyan ko! Sinubukan ko ulit tumae pero wala na akong mailabas. Baka naman manganganak na 'ko? Sabi ni papa ganun lang daw talaga. Baka malapit na daw pero hindi pa siguro ngayon. Hinintay ko na lang mawala ang sakit.

12:30 p.m. Hindi naman nawawala ang sakit eh! Humiga ako sa sofa at tiniis ang sakit. Parang major dysmenorrhea na sinabayan ng diarrhea.

2:30 p.m. Aba, tangina! Kanina pa to ah, ba't di na lumipas ang sakit?? Pasok uli ako sa CR at natakot nang makitang may lumabas na dugo. Sabi sa nabasa ko 'pag lumabas na yung 'bloody show' manganganak na within 72 hours. So akala ko naman after 3 days pa ako bago manganak. Tsaka after 1 week pa naman ang due date ko. Hinayaan ko na lang ulit.

3:00 p.m. Pinilit kong kumain ng lunch.

3:30 p.m. Ayoko na! 'Di ko na kinaya ang sakit kaya tinawagan ko na ang OB ko. Napagkamalan nya na ibang pasyente ako kaya sinabihan nya akong bumili ng pampakapit. Ano ba 'yun, kabuwanan ko na iinom pa 'ko ng pampakapit.

4:00 p.m. Base sa huli naming napag-usapan ng OB ko, pumunta ako sa AU Labor Room. Check-up lang daw. Titignan kung ok kami ni baby.

5:30 p.m. Aba, lecheng duktor! Namimilipit na 'ko sa sakit hindi pa rin dumarating!

6:30 p.m. Inabutan ako ng OB ko na nakahiga na at naka-ECG. Tsinek nya ang urinalysis ko. Ok na, wala na akong infection. Tapos tsinek nya ang cervix ko. Hindi ko alam kung good news o bad news pero 6 cm na daw ang opening ng cervix ko. Ibig sabihin 4 cm na lang manganganak na ako. Pina-admit na ako.

7:30 p.m. Dumating na sa wakas ang magtuturok ng anesthesia. Epidural ang pinili ko para painless ang labor. Pero painful pala ang pagturok, sa spine kasi. Tahimik akong umiyak at humikbi habamg tinutusok ang anesthesia. Dialogue ng nurse: "Tama na, malapit na matapos si doc..." Parang bata ang kausap.

9:00 p.m. Pinasok na ako sa delivery room. Inayos ang posisyon ko at maya-maya pinapairi na ako. Whew! Bagamat naka-anesthesia at hanggang pwet na ang hiwa, mahirap pa rin palang maglabas ng bata. Muntik na akong maubusan ng hininga.

9:43 p.m. Welcome to the world Kurt Isaiah! 'Di ko maintindihan kung ano ang naramdaman ko nung makita ko ang baby ko. 'Di ako makapaniwala na mommy na nga ako... Pero nakakapagod lang talagang manganak ha!
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Bata pa lang kupal na
JuLiE
Tinanong ko si Allen (kapatid ko na 7 years old) kung sya ba pinakagwapo sa klase nila. Pa-humble pa, sagot sa 'kin, "Ewan ko..."

Inusisa ko kung ano sa tingin nya. Aba! Lumabas din ang pagkakupal! Sagot ba naman sa 'kin, "Oo siguro kasi yung isa kong kaklase mukhang saging. Flat na flat 'yung mukha nya tapos ang haba ng baba. Tapos pati ulo nya mahaba din. Mukha talaga syang saging! Tawag ko nga dun minsan, 'Hoy saging!'"

Syempre ako tawa lang nang tawa. Hindi ko matanto kung bakit ganun sya kakupal! And wait! Hindi pa pala tapos ang kwento nya tungkol sa kaklase nyang mukang saging. Sabi pa nya, "Tapos Ate Jul may dalawa syang nunal sa mukha. Ung isa patay. Ung isa buhay, lumalaki, nakakadiri!"

Siguro 'pag pumapasok sa school si Allen nakaka-imagine sya ng palengke kasi 'yung isa naman daw mukhang pakwan. Ang taba-taba at ang bilog-bilog daw ng mukha tapos ang kapal ng labi. Hay, buti na lang hindi ako napaanak sa kakatawa!

On second thought, farm ata ang naiimagine nya. Pati teacher nya walang kawala. Ang laki daw ng tyan at ang ikli ng kamay, mukhang duck. Hanep sa imagination, ano po?

Kinumusta ko naman 'yung kinikwento nya dati na crush nya (take note: nag-diet pa sya dati para pansinin sya nung crush nyang yun). Di na daw nya crush. Tapos may naalala na naman sya na kaklase nyang babae. Bumbay daw. Pagkasabi pa lang nya na bumbay 'yung classmate nya, tawa na sya nang tawa! 'Yung classmate daw nya na 'yon ay may kuyang bumbay at mommy na bumbay (malamang!). 'Yung kuya daw ang tulis-tulis ng ilong (sabay tawa) at 'yung mommy nakapang-desert. Hahaha! Grabe racism na ito! Pero 'di ko makuhang magalit kasi nakakatawa talaga syang mgkwento! Tinanong ko sya kung may friends ba 'yung bumbay, "Wala, teacher lang! (sabay tawa na naman)."

Kinabukasan may developments sa kwento nya tungkol sa bumbay. Inaasar daw nila, "One, two, three bumbay! One, two, three bumbay!" Bakit kaya feeling ko pasimuno kapatid ko sa pang-aasar??

Sabi ni Jen sa kanya, "'Wag nyo na asarin 'yung bumbay, bad 'yon. Ikaw ba gusto mong tawagin kang Intsik?" Sagot ni Allen, "Ok lang intsik naman ako." Jen: "Bumbay naman sya." Allen: "Eh bat sya naiinis?" Hehehe! Jen, mali naman analogy mo eh..
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I hate goodbyes
JuLiE
It was last Sunday (June 19). We woke up at 5am (no, we set the alarm at 5 but woke up at around 5:45) to prepare for my 9:40 am flight. Regulations say that you have to be checked-in 3 hours before the flight, so, we were off to an early start.

I took a bath while Onac prepared breakfast. At around 6:30 we were already on our way to Changi Airport. I was already checked-in at around 7:20. Good thing Onac can wait with me inside the terminal, unlike in NAIA where relatives and friends can only stay behind the gates. With nothing better to do, we took our second breakfast at Burger King until I already have to check-in at the immigration.

Tears that I tried hard to control since I woke up (unsuccessfully though) started to fall on my face (again)... I hate goodbyes more than ever.
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Out Of My League
JuLiE
-Kanta daw sa 'kin ni Onac to eh, kaya favorite ko na sya... yiheee! =)
.
it's her hair and her eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that i'm falling further in love
makes me shiver but in a good way
all the times i have sat and stared
as she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
and she purses her lips, bats her eyes as she plays,
with me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say
coz i love her with all that i am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
coz she’s all that I see and she’s all that I need
and i'm out of my league once again
.
it's a masterful melody
when she calls out my name to me
as the world spins around her she laughs,
rolls her eyes and i feel like i'm falling but it's no surprise
coz i love her with all that i am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
but i'd rather be here than on land
yes she's all that i see and she's all that i need
and i'm out of my league once again
.
it's her hair and her eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that i'm falling further in love
makes me shiver but in a good way
all the times i have sat and stared
as she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
and she purses her lips, bats her eyes as she plays,
with me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say
coz i love her with all that i am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
but i'd rather be here than on land
yes she's all that i see and she's all that i need
and i'm out of my league once again
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ARGGGHHH!!!
JuLiE
Nakakatmd, nkkatamad, nakaktamad... NAKAKATAMAD! Leche di nako marunong mag-spelling!
---oOo---
,
Punyeta aircon namin, tulo nang tulo. Bumabaha na sa loob ng kwarto. Pati lababo sa kusina at inidoro sa CR tumutulo rin. Aircon sa isang kwarto di gumagana sa kabila naman di lumalamig. Bullshit, pagkamahal-mahal ng rent, dispalinghado naman mga gamit! Pakshet talaga!

---oOo---
,
Eh sa nabuburat ako, may angal?!
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Hindi na sapat ang People Power
JuLiE
Ang kulit-kulit na talaga ng gobyerno! Puro na lang pulitika, nakakarindi na! Nitong mga nakaraang araw eh puro issue ng destabilization plots ang lumalabas. Wiretapped phone conversations para patunayan ang pandaraya ni Gloria sa eleksyon (huuu, as if naman hindi rin nandaya ang kabilang kampo), pahayag ng mga ex-AFP officials laban kay Gloria, pagkuha ni Gloria ng suporta mula sa militar (may 'gathering' pa nga sila sa Malacanang 'di ba?), pagbigay ng suporta sa kanya ng PNP... got the picture?

Hindi naman kabigla-bigla kung marami na talaga ang dissatisfied kay Ate Glo. Pati ilang mga myembro ng administrasyon ay hindi na natutuwa sa pamamalakad nya. Paano pa kaya ang masa na lubos na biktima ng ganitong sitwasyon?

Tignan natin... isa siguro sa mga issue na malawak na tinututulan ng publiko ay ang nag-e-exist na oligopoly sa industriya ng langis. Sige lang sa pagtataas ng presyo ng gasolina. Ikaw, alam mo pa ba kung ilang beses na tumaas ang gas kamakailan? At syempre walang kontrol ang gobyerno dito dahil sa Oil Deregulation Law. Eh bakit nga hindi pa i-scrap ang crap na yan? Ang malala, kaakibat nito ay ang pagtaas ng pamasahe, ng bilihin at ng lahat-lahat na. Tapos sasabayan pa ito ng pag-apruba sa dagdag na VAT para maiahon daw sa fiscal crisis ang bansa. Consequence: higit na paglubog naman (may ilulubog pa pala) sa kahirapan ng karamihan ng mga Pilipino na ang survival ay on a daily basis (baka nga hourly na eh). Buti sana kung ang sahod ay tinataas din. Nasan na nga ba ang pinangakong wage increase para sa mga manggagawa noong Labor Day. Sabi na nga ba press release lang yun (o sige, nadagdagan daw ng bente pesos ang COLA ng mga manggagawa sa CAR at Reg3, 'yun lang ang nabalitaan ko eh).

Ang dagdag na VAT ay pandagdag sa pambayad utang panlabas ng bansa (ano ba, major percentage na nga ng national budget ay napupunta sa foreign debt servicing!) Kaya syempre tuwang-tuwa ang World Bank. Napakatuta talaga ng gobyerno. Pero may provision naman daw na ilalaan sa basic social services ang ilang parte ng malilikom mula dito. Wish ko lang. Baka sa bulsa ng mga dupang na pulitiko hindi pa kasya 'yun.

Speaking of basic social services, ang edukasyon na supposedly should have the highest priority of the government, e nabaliwala na naman (kelan ba hinde?). Nagkaroon nga ng pagbabawal sa tuition increase sa state colleges and universities pero hindi naman din dinagdagan ng budget (nabawasan pa nga eh). Sa private schools naman, nag-issue nga ang CHED ng bagong regulation sa tuition and other fee increases pero huli naman na ang lahat (kung kailan nakapag-enrol na ang mga estudyante). Labo.

Huwag din natin kalimutan na meron pang pending balikatan exercises in the next few months. At wait, nagkaroon pa ng bagong agreement ang AFP with the US pacific command kaya mukhang mas magtatagal pa ito.

At syempre kapag nagsalita ka laban sa kamalian ng pamamalakad ng gobyerno, tepok ka. Literal ha! Sino ba naman ang hindi matatakot kung nagkakaroon ng mass murder and harassment sa mga aktibista at mas pa sa mga journalists? Ayos. Tumitindi na talaga ang kontradiksyon. Papano pa kaya ang patuloy na militarisasyon na nagaganap sa kanayunan? Mga balitang hindi nilalabas ng mainstream media.. And wait! Idagdag mo pa dito ang National ID system na ang layunin daw ay sugpuin ang terorismo (na hindi pa rin nabibigyan ng malinaw na depenisyon) sa bansa. Pero in effect, isa itong pagkitil sa karapatang pantao. Kaya nga hindi ito naaprubahan ng supreme court noong panahon ni Ramos eh. Tapos ngayon, pinirmahan ni Gloria ang initial draft bilang executive order (para hindi na dumaan sa kongreso). Mautak ano po? Bakit hindi palakasin ang AFP para masugpo nga ang terorismo? Kung anu-ano kasi ang inaatupag eh. Resthouse sa Boracay? Duh!

Sa kabila ng lahat, may ambisyon pa ata itong si Gloria na magpatagal ng term. Nagpalabas sya ng pahayag na pag-uusapan ang issue ng charter change sa pagbukas ng sesyon sa senado. Isa sa proposal ay ang pagtanggal sa term limit ng mga tumatakbong pulitiko at syempre ang paglipat from a presidential form of government to parliamentary. Ibig sabihin ang mamumuno sa bansa ay hindi na pagbobotohan ng sambayanan kundi ng mga tao sa kongreso. Kaya naman matagal na itong pinaglalaban ni De Venecia, pano hindi siya manalo-nalo sa kasalukuyang sistema ng eleksyon. Hindi natin masasabi na ang kagustuhan talaga ng majority ang napapaupo sa gobyerno (syempre dayaan dito, dayaan dyan, may mga voters pa na hindi nag-iisip).Pero kung ipapaubaya na lang natin sa mga pulitiko ito, naku suicide na ata yun!

Hindi lang naman issue ng pagpalit ng form of government ang pumapaloob sa charter change. Kasama rin sa proposal ang pagpayag sa 100% ownership ng lupa, businesses at maski public services para daw maka-attract ng foreign investors... para daw makasunod sa call of globalization. Isa pa rin ay ang pagpapaloob ng mga provisions na magiging consistent sa war on terror ni Bush. Baka nga sa sinusulat kong ito eh mabansagan na rin akong terorista. Ang saya-saya.

Ngayon lang ay nagpalabas ng statement si Pimentel na kinakailangan nang mag-resign si Gloria dahil nawalan na sya ng kredibilidad para mamuno sa bansa. Ito na daw ang konstitusyonal na paraan para maisalba ang papalubog na gobyerno. Pero asa ka pa na magre-resign nga si Ate Glo!

May lumalabas rin na issue ng takeover plot na mag-cu-culminate sa Sabado. Ano, panibagong People Power na naman? Dahil marami na nga ang napipikon na kay Gloria hindi ito malayong mangyari. Ang People Power ay patunay lamang na kaya ng pinagsama-samang lakas ng sambayanan na magpatalsik ng pinuno na hindi na nagsisilbi sa interes ng nakararami.

Pero kung babalikan natin, ano nga ba ang magandang naidulot ng People Power? Si Marcos ay napalitan ni Cory, si Erap ay napalitan ni Gloria. Kung iisipin natin, pare-pareho lang naman ang mga yan. Magpapatalsik tayo ng presidente pero ang nakikinabang ay mga oportunista na wala rin namang inisip kundi ang kanilang personal na interes.

Dahil hanggat hindi nagbabago ang sistema ng lipunan, ang kurakot ay mapapalitan lang din ng mas kurakot. Ang bulok ay lalo lang mabubulok.

Hindi na nga sapat ang People Power.
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Torn
JuLiE
It's final. I had my return ticket booked on June 19, morning flight. I know I was excited to see my family the minute I got here in Singapore. Then why do I feel so sad just thinking about going home? Of course I know the reason... I'm gonna miss my husband so much :-(
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Creatures of the Night
JuLiE
Ok, this is a little bit late. I was supposed to post this last week but I got bored updating my blog.

Anyway, right after we went to the zoo, we had dinner then we were off to the night safari. It was actually on the same vicinity as the zoo. And I had a feeling that after the zoo closes at 6pm, the zoo management transports the animals to the night safari, which opens at 7:30 p.m. Ample time right? Nah, I'm just joking. =)

This night safari is, I believe, the first wildlife park to offer a night view of several species of nocturnal animals. The animals were settled in shadowy half-light, thus, they were mostly unaware of the presence of visitors. Too bad, we were not able to take pictures. The management was very strict with their no-using-of-flash policy since the animals are very sensitive to light and sounds. Who would want these wild animals to actually get wild??

I wouldn't have enjoyed the night safari if we were not aboard a tram. See, I was already so tired that even the most magificent creatures would not relieve me if we took the walking trails.

Anyway, I wish I could take Allen (my little brother) here because he has an affinity with the wildlife. Young as he is (he's only 7), he watches national geographic specials and discovery channel (aside from cartoon network of course) with real interest. Smart kid huh?

The only pictures we were able to take were outside the trails.
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Can we go to the zoo today?
JuLiE
I had my most wonderful zoo experience last Saturday (May 28)! Duh, as if I have a lot of zoo experiences... But in fairness, I remember going to Manila Zoo when I was a kid. All I remember is that I saw a caged lion and that the place stinks (so much for a lasting impression). I don't know if the place is any better now.

ANYWAY, Singapore Zoo on the other hand is fantastic! It takes you to an intricate journey in the jungle to discover its vast species of wildlife. The zoo attempts to emulate the creatures' natural habitat to stimulate survival. Meaning, instead of confining the animals in a cage (unless completely necessary) they transformed areas into grasslands, forests, swamps, plains, depending on the animals that situate on it. Cool huh? I just wonder if the animals haven't realized yet that they're NOT on their natural habitat. I mean, an animal's area is too small to be say, a forest. And they don't have their natural enemies appearing any moment. Oh, they must be bored.

We arrived at around 4:30 p.m. (a little late) so we really had to double time to see all the animals in that huge park. By the time we went out of the zoo at around 7 p.m. (the zoo closes at 6), I had aching feet, legs, and lower back but very much satisfied nonetheless. It was just too bad that we were not able to see the animal shows.


Me and daddy at the entrance.

These are lovelier than their relatives (horses).

The elepahant stinks! I touched it to feel its skin. After washing my hands for five times, the smell is still there. Eew!

The tallest mammal. Their hearts got to be so big and beats 3x faster than that of a human in order to transport oxygen and blood into their brains.

Mommy chimp w/ baby chimp. Cute di ba? Young chimps stay with their mothers for upto 10 years.

This is a jaguar.

This is a leopard.
Can you spot the difference?

Inuka - the first and only polar bear born in the tropics.

A lioness. Lions are the only cats that live in a large family group. They are toe-walkers, meaning, their heels do not touch the ground when they walk.


Camels have a double row of long curly lashes to protect their eyes from sand and dust. They can regulate their body temperature to conserve body fluids, thus, they perspire very little.

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Phantom vs (umm) Aliens *
JuLiE
My husband and I watched a poor internet-downloaded copy of the Phantom of the Opera last night. I think he was bored the minute our computer screen showed the first scene of the movie. Halfway through the film, he was already snoring. I couldn't blame him, maybe he's not a big fan of musicals. He couldn't take the falsetto-sung dialogues of the characters. Worse is, the lyrics of the songs were hard to understand because of the poor copy we got, thus, it was not easier understanding the story itself. Good thing I have a background of the plot, which made me at least relate to the scenes. However, I was not really satisfied with the movie. I think that the suspense, romance, and drama lacks the intensity that I expected to see. But I like the music nonetheless.
---oOo---
-
To make up for the movie nightmare (of my husband) last night, we will be watching Star Wars Episode 3 tonight. I was not a fan of Star Wars. Actually, I refused to watch Star Wars because I had the notion that movies with great special effects lack substance in the story. But I take it back (for Star Wars at least) =). After watching Episode 4 (the first episode produced according to my husband), well, I was still not convinced that Star Wars is worth the fuss. But then, I still forced myself to watch Episodes 1 and 2 (I skipped Episodes 5 and 6) to prepare myself for Episode 3, which my husband is dying to see. And guess what, I think I am now as excited as him to see the movie. I was engrossed with the story and the cinematography just as everyone else is. I just hope that my husband already bought tickets or we might end up getting inconvenient seats. But then again, most people probably already squarmed in the theatres during the opening.
*they're not from earth right?
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Isang Araw
JuLiE
7:30 a.m. Mag-aalarm na ang phone mo. Oras na para gumising kahit hindi pa umaabot ng 8 hours ang tulog mo. Ipagluluto mo pa kasi ng baon at almusal ang asawa mo. Ok lang basta para naman sa asawa mo =)

7:40 a.m. Babangon ka na matapos umextend ng 10 minutes. Magtu-toothbrush muna tapos magluluto na. Medyo bangag ka pa.

9:00 a.m. Ihahatid mo na sa pintuan ang asawa mong papunta sa opisina. Paglabas nya ng pinto mapapakanta ka na lang ng "Alone again... naturally".

9:05 a.m. Dahil inaantok ka pa at kailangan nyo ng baby mo ng sapat na tulog, iidlip ka uli.

11:30 a.m. Medyo napatagal ang pag-idlip mo pero inaantok ka pa rin. Kaso kailangan nang bumangon dahil sasakit na ang ulo mo kapag natulog ka pa uli.

11:35 a.m. Magsa-sign in ka muna sa ym. Titignan kung online na rin ang asawa mo. Magche-check ng email. Pati friendster na rin.

11:50 a.m. Magugutom ka na. Maghahanda ka ng almusal kahit oras na ng tanghalian.

12:00 n.n. Yayayain ka na mag-lunch ng asawa mo. Pero kumakain ka pa rin ng almusal.

12:05 p.m. Makakachat mo ang mga dati mong mga kaopisina. Lunch break na kasi. Di naman madalas maglunch out ang mga yun.

1:00 p.m. Wala ka naman magawa kaya gagawa ka na lang ng entry sa blog mo.

1:30 p.m. Tapos ka na mag-post ng entry sa blog mo. Wala ka na naman magawa kaya mgbabasa ka na lang ng balita. Ano na ba nangyayari sa Pinas?

Wala na namang bago. Jueteng issue pa rin ang binabalita. Nagpapakabibo ang gobyerno sa pagsugpo kuno sa jueteng. Trying hard panindigan na walang kinalaman si Mike at Mikey sa isyung ito. Wala nga ba? Sa kasagsagan ng isyu e naisipan ni pareng Mike na pumunta sa Singapore (uy, dito yun!). Discreet pa ang paglabas nya ng bansa. Iwas sa reporters. Pero hindi pa naman napapatunayan kaya innocent pa rin sila (mukha nyo).

A eto may bago. Makakatanggap daw ng dagdag na P20 na COLA ang mga manggagawa sa Region 3 at CAR. Ayos. May pandagdag na sila sa babayaran nilang dagdag na VAT. Makatao talaga ang gobyerno. Sabi ni Lagunzad ng NWPC na mae-encourage daw ang mga businesses na maging mas productive dahil sa dagdag na pasweldo. Ibig sabihin: alipinin nang husto ang mga manggagawa.

Speaking of VAT, tuwang-tuwa naman itong si World Bank sa naaprubahang dagdag na VAT. Aba'y dapat lang. Para sa kanya naman yun eh. Di bale nang mamatay sa gutom ang sambayanan...

Sa local news naman, public land daw ang Boracay kaya hindi ito pag-aari ng resort owners. Right to occupy lang ang binabayaran nila (na umaabot ng 20k-30k per sqm). Sabi ni Sec. Mike Defensor ang pagtititulo daw ng lupa ang solusyon para maensure ang business stability sa Boracay at para mag-encourage pa ng investors. E papano naman kaya ang mga locals na matagal nang naninirahan dun at nagbabayad ng tax. Di bale nang mawalan sila ng lupa basta may titulo ang investors. Wag ka na magtaka, ganun talaga.

2:30 p.m. Magsasawa ka na sa balita at mararamdaman mong gutom ka na uli. Kaya manananghalian ka na =)

3:00 p.m. Mahihirapan kang huminga dahil sa busog kaya bababa ka muna para maglakad-lakad. Maiinggit ka sa mga nagsi-swimming kaya maiisipan mong magswimming din. Para may exercise ka naman. Kaya lang magbabago ang isip mo dahil maiisip mo na malungkot magswimming mag-isa (sana weekend na lang para kasabay mong magswimming ang asawa mo). Isa pa, mukha ka nang dugong sa laki ng tyan mo.. e midrib pa naman ang swimsuit mo.

3:30 p.m. Aakyat ka na lang uli. Magdedefrost ng lulutuin mo. Manonood ng tv. Kaso walang mapanood. Gusto mo sana magvaccum ng buong bahay kaso tinatamad ka. Uupo ka uli sa tapat ng pc. Makikipagchat ka sa mga makukulit mong ex-kaopisina. Hahagap ng chismis.

4:00 p.m. Maliligo ka na nga pala. Mainit.

4:30 p.m. Maaalala mo na kailangan mo pa pala i-edit ang mga pictures na ipapaprint nyo. May 250 free prints kasi kayo sa kodak. Maiinis ka dahil ang dami. Sana 50 na lang para 50 lang ang i-e-edit mo.

6:00 p.m. Magsasawa ka na mag-edit at sasakit na ang likod mo dahil ang tagal mo nang nakaupo sa harap ng pc. Magluluto ka na.

7:00 p.m. Maeexcite ka na dahil malapit na umuwi asawa mo =)

7:30 p.m. Kaso OT pala sya ngayon =(

7:40 p.m. Wala ka na naman magawa kaya mgbabasa ka na lang ng e-book na matagal mo nang binabasa't hindi mo pa rin natatapos.

8:30 p.m. Magsasawa ka na magbasa at maiisipan mong gumawa uli ng isa pang entry sa blog mo.

9:00 p.m. Wala pa rin ang asawa mo pero pauwi na raw sya. Maghahain ka na dahil tiyak na gutom na yun pagdating nya.

9:30 p.m. Ayan, nandyan na sya! Magdi-dinner na kayo habang nanonood ng tv.

10:15 p.m. Maglalakad-lakad kayo para magpatunaw ng kinain. Kwentuhan. Balitaan.

10:45 p.m. Papasok na kayo ng kwarto. Magpapahinga. Kwentuhan. Harutan. Maiinis ka dahil nilalait ng asawa mo ang dati mong crush. Mayayabangan ka sa kanya. Maiinis ka dahil masakit ang balakang, likod, legs, dibdib at binti mo dahil buntis ka tapos hinaharot ka pa. Maiinis ka dahil pnromise sayo na imamasahe nya ang masakit mong likod kaso tinulugan ka naman. Maiisip mo na pagod nga pala sya sa trabaho. Kaya hahayaan mo na lang syang matulog (wala ka rin naman magagawa).

12:50 a.m. Hindi ka pa rin inaantok kaya mag-iinternet ka na lang uli.

1:00 a.m. Sasakit na naman ang likod mo kaya hihiga ka na at pipiliting makatulog.
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Feel the Pain
JuLiE
I remember an article written by Bo Sanchez entitled "Feel your feelings and then let go". He says that negative emotions are windows of our soul, which teach us about who we are and what we need from God (he's some sort of a religious writer). He says that the only way to get rid of a negative emotion is to recognize it, feel it, and then let it go. We should not try to repress it , or cover it up, or hide away from it. Because how can you let go of something you have not held, he says. Makes sense huh?

The article had an impact on me the time I read it. (Heck, I even wrote an excerpt in my journal!) See, I think I am guilty of repressing negative emotions (anger, guilt, self-pity, sadness..) because I always choose not to be affected to spare myself off the suffering. I thought that a feeling is a choice. It's just a matter of perspective. However, I realize that a negative emotion can not be repressed or denied. It comes back or comes out in other forms we may not be aware of.

In the latter part of the article, Bo says that you should allow yourself to feel the pain. Accompany it. Breath into it. Don't judge or critize. Just feel it. And after a while you'll feel the anger or pain or sadness loose its urgency and power.

Guess what, I am getting good at that right now!
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Running After Tax Evaders
JuLiE
It seems like the BIR is doing a good job running after tax evaders under its ongoing Operation: RATE. I've read that it has already filed cases against famous showbiz personalities Richard Gomez, Regine Velasquez, and recently Judy Ann Santos. BIR says that 92.5% of these showbiz personalities pay only about 0-1.5% tax on their gross incomes. Now, why am I not surprised to know that there is widespread tax violation in the entertainment industry?
---oOo---

Aside from showbiz personalities, BIR also have filed cases against some big companies (Mendez Medical Grp., Columbia Sports, CAP, PT&T..), a former AFP comptroller, Taulava (basketball star), and Douglas Quijano.
.---oOo---
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Finance undersec Bonoan said that "Power and fame are not tickets to immunity". (Really?) And in fairness, there is a good indication that they might be true to their words. But not until they run after the 'bigger' fishes (politicians e.g. the President herself, big time businessmen, e.g. Henry Sy, Lucio Tan..) will my apprehensions dissipate.
.---oOo---
-
I just hope that tax collections go to where it should go. Meaning, not to the pockets of greedy and shameless politicians (which is quite unlikely).
.---oOo---
-
An issue came out that the BIR runs after entertainers who sided with FPJ last elections (i.e. Juday and Goma). Like duh?! Ikonek ba lahat?
.---oOo---
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What bothers me is an article in Inquirer last week (I'm not sure if its in the Editorial because I could not find it in the Archives of its website anymore) that says something to the effect that it would already be easier for the common people to accept the increase in VAT, after all, the 'big fishes' are already made to pay the right amount of taxes. Am I the only one who thinks this is absurd? This VAT issue is not an issue of bandwagon effect. Increase in VAT is widely opposed because of several reasons and not just the mentality that 'many people do not pay taxes, why should I?'

For one, an increase in VAT does not take into consideration the root cause of the problem (the fiscal crisis as the government claims). What it offers is a mere quick-fix solution to satisfy the demands of our creditors (IMF, World Bank). Second, an increase in VAT will be worsened by increase in the prices of goods and services (is it not apparent that the consumers are the ones who will shoulder this?). And lastly (I think), 78% of us do not even earn enough to meet the daily cost of living of P492.19 (Ibon facts and figures)... do I need to explain why the people need not be further burdened by an increase in VAT? Geeez!
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LiFe'S a BeAcH!
JuLiE

I'm movin', I'm comin'
Can you hear what I hear?
It's calling you my dear out of reach
(Take me to my beach)
I can hear it calling you
I'm comin' not drowning,
swimming closer to you

-from THE BEACH soundtrack


















Where: SILOSO BEACH, SENTOSA ISLAND RESORT, SINGAPORE
When: SUNDAY, MAY 22, 2005
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Of Headaches and Heartaches
JuLiE
I just woke up with a throbbing headache.

After a long argument with my husband last night, I went to bed while he did something with the computer. I was already about to sleep but then I thought of something that made me cry (some personal stuff I'd rather not divulge in this entry). No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to stop the tears from falling (I really hate that!). So I cried my heart out, which my husband did not notice because we had our backs to each other.

When he was finished doing what he was doing, he noticed that I was still awake. He laid beside me and asked me if something was wrong. He even massaged my head with katinko. Then I started crying again. He urged me to tell him what was wrong (I guess he assumed that it still had something to do with the fight we had). After I calmed down a bit, I told him my reason. Then without even a one-word comment, I heard him snoring his way to sleep. Oh well...
--oOo--
I just couldn't bring myself to sleep last night because of headache, heartache, nasal inflammation, and shortness of breath (it really gets more difficult being pregnant when your tummy gets bigger). So I made myself a cup of hot choco and read Dan Brown's Deception Point. I slept at around 3am (I'm so sorry baby for tiring you..)

--oOo--
This morning, after my husband was off to work, I went back to bed and dozed off to a peaceful and uninterrupted sleep. NOT! Unfortunately, the condo management scheduled a fumigation this day and later on decided to turn on the fire alarm for no apparent reason (there's no fire for God's sake!). I couldn't help but curse them in my half sleep.
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"When you become a mother you'll know"
JuLiE
I am really starting to hate my sister. She has been a very different person since she started going out with her, umm.. "boyfriend". She fails her subjects (I'm not sure if she attends it in the first place), doesn't go home for days (and looks sad and restless when she finally gets home), lies and makes up stories most of the time (and expects us to believe), and God knows what else she does to destroy herself!

I believe in the fluidity of gender and the need to liberate homosexuals from a conventional, oppressive and discriminating society. However, learning that your own sister has become one of them can be rather shocking, believe me. But I know that despite my not-so-positive reaction to her new relationship, I will be able to accept the fact that my sister has taken steps towards her own liberation. After the shock has worn off.

But not anymore. Not after seeing what that fucking relationship has done to her. Not after the pain she causes my ever loving, understanding, and forgiving dad. She might be feeling misunderstood or alone or whatever. But she doesn't even give an effort to be understood. Instead she continues to distance herself from us.

I still have nothing against same sex relationship in general. But I have everything against 'this' particular relationship.

Anyway, the latest news is she hasn't returned home for almost two months now. My dad does everything to contact and look for her. But you cannot find someone who refuses to be found. The pain she causes my dad is practically killing him. He couldn't eat nor sleep because of so much worry. I urged him to stop looking for her and assured him that she would soon find her way back. Give her space, it might be just a phase of some sort. Otherwise, she wouldn't learn her lessons. Lalo lang magmamatigas yan dahil alam nya na hinahabol-habol siya... But my dad would not listen. Again, in an effort to reach my sister, he went to UP last Saturday (he learned that she was taking summer classes) and finally saw her. He literally begged her to come home. She promised to come home the next day. But as expected, it was an empty promise. I hate to say "I told you so"...

It pains me so much to know how much my dad is suffering by what is happening with my sister (and to think that this is just a part of our dozens of other problems). If only I'm with him in the Philippines, I would have already shaken him up to make him realize that he can choose not to suffer. That he doesn't have to be miserable and he has to move on, wait and have faith that everything will be alright. But of course he would just answer me (like he always did) that "..a parent doesn't give up on his child. When you become a mother you'll know".

That is exactly why I love my dad so much. Because no matter how much we fail, we are assured that we still have someone to run to. He guides us to what is right but never condemns us when we do wrong. Instead, he would understand and give us more love and support. Yes, he doesn't give up on us. He never did.

When I become a mother, I'll know.. But will I? Will I be as understanding and loving and forgiving? I have yet to find out...

In the meantime, I think I'm still on the verge of hating my sister... for the pain she causes my dad.
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Onli in Pinas
JuLiE
Magka-chat kami kaninang umaga ng kaibigan ko. Nakwento nya na pupunta dito sa Singapore yung ex nya (uy friends pa rin sila!). Tinanong nya kung may gusto akong ipabili. Hmmm... konti lang naman:

1. Ensaymada ng Muhlach;
2. Polvoron, Brownies, at Pastillas de Leche ng Goldilocks;
3. Cheez Whiz (malaki) - basta gusto ko Cheez Whiz, ayoko ng iba!;
4. Tender Juicy Hotdog - chicken/beef franks lang ang meron dito;
5. Sinigang Flavored Mix - mahal kasi dito un, dupang yung mga pinoy na nagbebenta;
6. Ludy's Peanut Butter - gusto ko matuto kung pano magluto ng kare-kare;
7. Puto, Kuchinta, Suman - yummy almusal!;
8. Tuyo/Danggit - mmmm... sarap with scrambled eggs!;
9. Fish Tocino ng Capiz;
10. Itlog na maalat;
11. Chicharon ng Bulacan;
12. Mochi ng Pampanga;
13. Longganisa at Tocino ng Pampanga's Best;
14. Isang kaing ng Mangga - 'di masarap mangga dito, lasang gamot!;
15. Dried Manggoes ng Cebu;
16. Graham Crackers;
17. Marang - wala pa ko nakita dito nun, pero durian marami;
18. Pastel ng Camiguin - peyborit!;
19. Sebo de Macho - would you believe, S$3 (P150) dito yun?! E bente pesos lang kaya yun!;
20. Green Papaya Soap - haha! magpaputi ba?!;
21. Bagoong ng Barrio Fiesta;
22. Pan de Sal;
23. Cheese Bread;
24. Strawberry Jam ng Good Shepherd's; at syempre
25. Winston Lights na blue - para kay Onac =)

Ayan, konti lang naman. Hindi naman siguro nakakahiya noh? =)
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Defenses
JuLiE
I don't believe in long term relationships.. or so I thought.

Blame it partly to the fact that I have been raised in a broken home that I used to believe that even the best of relationships don't usually last. I mean, it's nothing but normal to see break-ups, divorces, and infidelities happen in what used to be a 'perfect relationship'? You may think that I'm a pessimist, thanks, but I'd rather be thought off as a realist. It is realistic to believe that people tend to change.. in their thoughts and emotions. One day you could be genuinely happy being in the relationship, and the next thing you realize is it's suicide to stay further in that relationship. That's just the way it is. The best thing to do is move on. That's life.

Blame it partly to the fact that I have been raised in a broken home that I have subconsciously (or consciously, I'm not quite sure) built my defenses around me. That to be able to face my fear of pain and rejection, I chose to believe that relationships don't usually last. This prompted me to distance myself (to certain degrees) from people. Don't get me wrong, I assure you that my social skills are on an acceptable level. It's just that I tend not to give away myself too much (if at all).

But should it be that way?

When I was faced the dilemma of getting or not getting married, I confided to my dad that I was down-to-my-gutt scared. He only asked me one thing: do you love him? I answered yes. He said that that is reason enough. But it didn't change anything.. I was still scared! He assured me that there is really nothing to be scared of. All I have to do is hope for the best and expect the worst (cliche). Expect the worst by being a good and loving wife. Give and don't expect anything in return. Have faith in life he said.

That's when it hit me.

I still believe that relatonships have a tendency not to last and people still have a tendency to change. But whatever happens is whithin our control. We have the choice whether to keep a relationship stronger or let it fall into pieces right before our eyes. You don't expect the worst by preparing yourself for the pain that comes with it but by preventing it to happen (expect the worst by being a good and loving wife). And you don't face your fear of pain and rejection by building your defenses, thus, sacrificing happiness and fulfillment.

I didn't believe in long term relationships but people tend to change.. in their thoughts and emotions. And I think I have changed.
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Pakikipagsapalaran sa Manok
JuLiE
Kung hindi ko lang iniisip ang pagtitipid, mas gugustuhin ko nang bumili ng chicken in special cuts. Yung tipong legs lang o breast lng o wings lang. Pero dahil mas mura ang whole chicken, yun ang binibili namin kapag nagrogrocery kami.

Dati ay wala pa akong kaalam-alam kung pano maghiwa ng manok (palibhasa baguhan ako sa kusina). At medyo natatakot ako (o nandidiri) dahil ang whole chicken dito sa Singapore ay, wag ka, kasama pati ulo at paa! O diba? Paano kung tukain ako nun?!

Sabi ng asawa ko madali lang maghiwa ng manok. Hiwain muna ang ulo, leeg, tpos legs at wings. Huwag kakalimutan ihiwalay ang paa ng manok sa legs. At syempre tanggalin ang kuko sa paa. Sino nga ba naman ang matutuwang pumapak ng paa ng manok na may kuko pa? Kapag fully mutilated na ang manok pwede na hiwain sa gitna. Ihihiwalay ang pitso sa, um, ribs. tpos pwede na hiwain ito sa kng gaano kaliit o kalaki mo gusto. Sisiw lang pala e!

Pero hindi pala ganun kadali lalo na kapag daig pa ng cutter ang kutsilyong gamit mo. Sinunod ko naman ang sinabi sakin pero nang matapos ako ay nagmistulang binaboy ang manok ko. Nakakalungkot.

Ang natutunan ko sa karanasan sa paghiwa ng manok, bukod sa paggamit ng matalim na kutsilyo, ay dapat alam mo ang anatomy nito. Dapat alam mo kng saan ang joint na naghihiwalay sa wings at katawan, o kung hanggang saan ang buto ng leeg.. para hndi ka mahirapan sa paghiwa. At syempre, isa pang natutunan ko ay kahit ano pang pambababoy ang ginawa mo sa manok, hindi rin naman ito mahahalata pag luto na. ;)
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Basically...
JuLiE
Reasons why I am here:

1. Despite my innate dissentment of going with the flow, I find myself inspired to create my own blog after reading several blogs of acquaintances;

2. I have a lot of time to waste;

3. I am bored;

4. I aim to diffuse my boredom to those who are also bored enough to at least scan what I have to write.

Exposed?

It is a contradiction to be posting my journal online since I am a very private person. A friend once commented that one will never know what's on my mind unless one gets to know me really really well.. which, according to her, is very difficult. Not that I am intentionally trying to be out of reach. I don't know, this is just the way I am. Aloof maybe. But here I am.. exposed.

The challenges though:

1. I am not quite sure if I will have anything interesting to write about considering my very mundane life (how's this: I spend the whole day at home.. alone);

2. I have underdeveloped writing skills;

3. I have the propensity to procrastinate;
`
4. I still have a lot to figure out with this blog thing.
`
So basically, this is it for now. Wish me luck!
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